From the Archive: What Self-Care Means
A Brocante Post from September 8th, 2021
I shouldn't be allowed on the internet. Sometimes I have to bite my tongue and sit on my hands and generally give myself a good talking to so I don't turn into one of those snarky types who leaves sarcastic messages at the bottom of posts and memes that have made us want to punch a person.
I mustn't. I won't. Oooh heck, I might.
Take for instance the notion of what constitutes "self-care". Currently there is a line of thought whipping around the interwebs that is quickly turning into the kind of trope that has supercilious types nodding their heads in sycophantic agreement with those who have taken it into slightly smug brains to lecture all and sundry on what self-care isn't.
Self-care, they say, isn't bubble baths and hot chocolate. Those things, they say, are mere indulgences. It IS kale and exercise programs, therapy and boundaries. It isn't essential oils and candles, books and early nights, it is leaving bad husbands and keeping your promises. It isn't a pampering night in the bathroom or booking the kids in for an extra hour at nursery so you walk around the shops with your best friend in peace for once, it isn't log fires and wine and donuts and lying in bed until lunchtime just because you can, it is budgeting, counting your steps, your calories and your macros, and keeping your promises and tidying your bedroom and telling the doctor you are going a bit bonkers.
And to this I say yes, you are ABSOLUTELY right, but for heaven's sake get off your high horse!
Some of us are dealing with situations you can't even begin to imagine. Some of us are already doing all the "good things" and still cannot fill the holes in our souls. Some of us aren't doing the good things at all, because we can barely face the day. Some of us haven't showered for two days and no amount of self-improvement, or meditation will force us out of clothes to fix that. Some of us are living with mental health issues or neurodivergent ways of being that make housework feel like being asked to climb a mountain daily. Some of us can't stomach another smoothie today, but need chocolate or fairy cakes. NOW. And, no, we don't care what you think.