The Mend Your Life Club

A Fifteen Step Route Back To Yourself

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Welcome to the Mend Your Life Club!

A week-by-week conversation here on Substack to show you the way back to yourself, because isn’t it true that the twists, the turns, and the seasons of change really do see us fraying at the edges and unravelling at the seams?

So in the spirit of this journey of transformation, I want to offer you a gentle invitation to lean into mending your life. To make yourself whole again BEFORE you step wholly and mindfully into Renaissance, the BrocanteHome way. This isn’t about fixing the parts of ourselves you perceive as torn with temporary repairs (that fool no-one) or masking what’s been lost in an effort to pretend that all is what it was before. No, this is about sewing one delicate, deliberate stitch each week: each one designed to strengthen and nurture your most authentic self, so that as time goes by and the holes in your soul are firmly and exquisitely patched, you will discover the resolve to step fully back into your whole self.

To believe that RENAISSANCE is indeed possible.

This then, is where the Mend My Life philosophy begins - leaning into the things that call to our hearts—those tender moments when we let ourselves simply be and allow our truest self to peek through the worn fabric of our lives, makings tucks and adding necessary pockets full of joy along the way, and above all else believing that what once felt ruined can very much be stitched back together into something that feels beautiful and infinitely more precious.

You see I have felt broken too many times to count. I have picked myself up and dusted myself off over and over again, and I have come back from trauma so deep and ugly, it has earned me the double-edged sword that is being labelled both strong and resilient. I have been an accidental single mother, drowning in debt, watched my Mum die so suddenly and unexpectedly I might never recover from the shock of it, dealt with something I still cannot bring myself to write down, been a victim of sexual assault, suffered significant housing instability, navigated undiagnosed neurodivergence and endured a relationship with a mentally unstable man whose emotional and financial abuse nearly destroyed me. I have been there, done that and I have stood up again and I want you to know that there is ALWAYS life on the other side of the deepest of despair.

Always. Always. Always.

And there are tools and ways of thinking that honestly help. Ways out of trauma I KNOW make a difference, if only we will commit to them. Lines of thought that unpick what feels too tight to bear, a map of sorts, not perhaps to enlightenment, but to a route out of anguish, melancholy or gloom and ultimately towards the kind of wisdom and self-compassion that means there is hope hereafter.

So let me bring you a cosy pattern for the soul - a fifteen step guide to stitching life back together we will examine in gorgeous, cheerful, inspiring detail over the next fifteen weeks. A gentle path to follow as you reclaim the pieces of yourself, taking it one step at a time, with love, patience, and quiet certainty that simply by gathering up your needle and thread you are already on the way to becoming who you are meant to be.

The Fifteen Steps

1. HONESTY
   The first, and perhaps the most vital thread we need, the most tender of beginnings, is the ability to be honest with ourselves. Because admitting where the pain lies, where the heartache lingers, where the fabric that is our life is stretched to its limits, is where the mending has to start. Of course, it’s never easy to examine our own wounds, but in honesty, there is healing. So we will begin by speaking our truth, naming it, and allowing that acknowledgment to create space for renewal. Yes, begin with truth. It might not feel easy because admitting to ourselves that something hurts, to let the weight of it be known feels like failure. Or even weakness. But in honesty, there’s a quiet liberation, so the act of acknowledging our pain is the first stitch towards healing it. To giving ourselves permission to forgive ourselves for all that we did, when we simply didn’t know any better.

2. COURAGE
   Courage is saying, “I can’t do this alone,” and trusting that there’s support waiting for us, just ripe for asking. It isn’t loud. It’s the quiet strength to reach out for help when the load is too heavy. It’s the act of allowing others to witness our vulnerability. It’s the ability to feel the fear and do it anyway. To let someone else carry a piece of our load for a moment because there is wisdom in opening our hearts to someone else’s support. We don’t have to be strong on our own—and sometimes huge courage is found is simply letting ourselves be held, or letting someone else carry the weight of our broken hearts, if only for a while, so that we can gather our thoughts and make good decisions for our tomorrows.

3. TRUST
   Next we have to believe that, yes, change is possible for us, even when it feels elusive. To trust that our hearts know the way, and that though the path may twist and turn, we are always moving toward something new, something beautiful, something we can make our own. This step then is about trusting in the quiet unfolding of our lives, a soft knowing that what lies ahead is not set in stone, but in possibility. Learning to believe that necessary change will find us, even when we feel lost. To trust in the rhythms of the world, in the healing of time, and in our own ability to transform, even if it doesn’t feel even remotely likely right now.

4. HUMILITY
   Then humility invites us to let go of resentment and anger, and to take responsibility for our own journey. It’s not about shrinking or denying our power—it’s about creating space for grace. About giving credence to the idea that perhaps we have been wrong. Or that maybe we have held too tightly on to old dreams or worn out ideas. Humility then, encourages us to release the past and step lightly into the present, trusting that peace will be waiting for us on the other side. So in this step, we learn to release what we no longer need—the resentment, the bitterness, the vulnerabilities and the anger that keeps us tethered to old stories, because humility is ultimately the gentle art of letting go of all the tapes in our heads keeping us attached to that which is holding us back. It’s not about shrinking ourselves, but about allowing room for grace, because the moment we stop carrying the weight of what has gone before is the moment we begin to feel lighter.

5. PEACE
   Like courage, peace doesn’t shout. It is found in stillness, in breath, in being present with what is, in meditation and the sacred moments of calm we carve out for ourselves. So next we invite peace to become a constant companion—practicing mindfulness, breathing deeply, and letting the world slow down just a little, because peace is always something we can cultivate in the smallest of moments: a patient friend always available to us, so there is never any need to rush toward it; as she will come when we are ready to make room for her.

6. JOY
   Joy is a delicate thing. Sometimes, it’s so small we miss it: a ray of sunlight, the laughter of a friend, the taste of something sweet. But if we take time to notice, it’s there, just waiting for us to see it. So in this step we begin noticing. Making ritual out of marking what feels joyful: the flicker of sunlight through the window, the soft hum of our favourite song, the laughter of our grown-up kids. Because these moments of joy are little pockets of light in our day, each one reminding us that there is still so much beauty to be found - even in the midst of change; even in the midst of rumbling, pervasive sorrow, grief or fright.

7. KINDNESS
   Next we practise kindness: the simple, gentle act of being soft with ourselves. Kindness is a balm for the soul. It doesn’t have to be grand, just a soft word, a thoughtful gesture, a moment of empathy. Being patient, compassionate, and letting kindness flow toward others, too. A thoughtful gesture, the simplest of smiles, a meaningful gift—these are the tiny threads that weave connection, reminding us that we are all in this together and that kindness can be the tie that binds us on the journey towards a life that feels whole again.

8. GRATITUDE
   Gratitude isn’t something to check off a list—it’s a way of seeing. A way of life! It is the art of noticing what’s beautiful and good, even when the clouds are heavy. It is an internal practice, one that asks us to pause and observe To look for the little things to be thankful for—the warmth of our morning coffee, the comfort of a cozy blanket, the beauty of a sunset. These small gifts, when counted, create an abundance of joy in our heart. Because when we turn towards what is good about our life, we turn away from all that is painful or not what it should be. So in this step, we let gratitude bloom softly within us, and create practises that remind us to make it a routine aspect of all the days of our lives.

9. MOVEMENT
   Our body holds wisdom. It carries the stories of our lives, and when we move it, we give it space to speak, and in that process the freedom to release the tension it has been holding on to on our behalves. But for the purpose of mending our lives, movement need not be about striving, and instead should be about listening to the rhythm of our bodies. So whether that means a slow stretch, a peaceful walk, or a dance to the beat of our own heart—in this step we commit to moving in a way that feels kind, and ultimately helps us to align and re-energise body and soul.

10. WELLBEING
    Next we take the time to care of body, heart, and soul because our wellbeing is not a luxury; it’s the foundation on which our entire world is built. So it falls upon us in this step to treat it as such, with tenderness and grace. Creating rituals of self-care steeped in age old wisdom: nourishing food, quiet baths and gentle routines that bring us peace, and establishing and acknowledging our very own hierarchy of needs because our wellbeing is the foundation of our life and when we prioritise it, it supports us in ways we have long forgotten can really make us feel better.

11. POSITIVITY
    Next up is positivity: the quiet belief that, even in the darkest days, there is light. It’s not about pretending everything is perfect; it’s about finding hope in the smallest moments. But it isn’t easy: positivity is something we have to nurture daily, and while it will not be forced, with practise it becomes a habit and carries with it the promise of something better. So in this step we create rituals that encourage us to start each day with the belief that today could be the one things begin to shift, the day something beautiful happens, the day we feel alive again. Because positivity lets the light in, and even if it’s just a crack of light in the midst of chaos or the pain, it spreads bit by bit, until it illuminates the entire room.

12. INSPIRATION
    Inspiration is everywhere, if only we are open to it. It’s in the pages of a book, the quiet moments of nature, the words of a friend, or the sweetest line in the simplest song. So next we allow ourselves to be inspired by something new. To not be afraid to step outside our comfort zone and to try something entirely different. Because there is magic in the new and exhilaration in the unfamiliar. But we have to grant ourselves permission to be surprised by what sparks a new idea, a new dream, or a new way of seeing the world, and to have the courage to follow it wherever it may lead.

13. VALIDATION
    Sometimes we find ourselves looking for validation outside ourselves, despite knowing that it is within us that our worth lies. So in this step we discover ways to learn to listen to our own mind and to stop relying on other people’s opinions. To instead acknowledge our own progress and celebrate our journey, because we are our own best witness, the only person who really knows the paths we have walked, the growth we have made. So yes, in this step we learn to validate ourselves.

14. EDUCATION
    Life is always offering us lessons, always inviting us to grow, instead of shying away from the challenge of learning new things. So whether it’s a new skill, a new way of thinking, or a new way of being, in this step we embrace the opportunity to expand, because over time this ongoing education will be what keeps us growing, evolving, and inching closer towards the person we are supposed to be. Learning then doesn’t stop, and nor should our curiosity. Life will continue to teach us, offering new ideas, new experiences, and new ways of thinking and so it pays to see each as an invitation to grow, to learn, and to shape our lives into something even more magnificent.

15. COMMUNITY
    And finally we seek the support of other people. So we do not feel isolated as we move towards repair. For friendship, family and those groups in which we feel at home are the cosiest of blankets, wrapping us up in warmth, comfort, and connection and reminding us that we are safe. So in this, the final step towards mending our lives, we allow ourselves to receive the care of others, and to be open to giving that care in return, because the bonds of friendship, support and care sustain us when everything else seems uncertain. They are the threads that hold us close when everything else seems to be falling apart, offering comfort, understanding, and laughter. So we have to let ourselves be open to the warmth that human relationships bring, both old and new, because in this stage of life, in repair, true friends, (both the ones we have and the ones we haven’t met yet) partners and family are the ones who see us, who care for us, and who remind us that we are never truly alone.

Ready to Mend Your Life?

Join me here next week and together we will examine the frayed seams of our lives and week-by-week make it good again.

I’m here to hold your hand.